Sometimes, I feel like I´m not capable of tackling my own problems, fears and anxious thoughts. I don´t understand why You allowed some things to happen and maybe I never will, but I don´t wanna lost what I value the most, which is this desire that I have in my heart of becoming like you :

PROVERBS 3;5-8

5Trust in the Lord with all your heart, 

and lean not on your own understanding.

6In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight. 

7Be not wise in your own eyes; 

fear the Lord and depart from evil. 

8It will be healing to your flesh,

and strength to your bones. 

When I feel unsettled over the path ahead and do not know how to manage the situation, I choose to trust in the Holy One who says this about me:

15Can a woman forget her nursing child,

and have no compassion on the son of her womb?

Even these may forget,

yet I will not forget. 

I want you know God that I´m still struggling with my suicidal thoughts and my loneliness. Jesus, turn it all into good because I wanna trust you no matter what, but, it´s hard and I need your help.