Today I have decided to talk about some things that has happened in my life this week. And just to begin with:

I will never find peace if I keep holding things in my life. I have come to understand that as long as I keep saying things like: – I wish I could feel less overwhelmed. I wish I could do better, feel better, be more useful. Everything felt so confusing and stressful

To put it bluntly, I am done trying to seek validation, love, and acceptance. It’s crazy how these things took control over me for years. Day by day, I have come to understand the love of God for me, and it has changed not only my spiritual state but also the way I see myself.

God has been so kind to me because even in the midst of my crazy doubts, he stretched out his hands to help me! Even when I blamed him for abandoning me, he still came to my rescue! Even when I said in my heart: God doesn’t care about me!

I was living in distress, anger, hopelessness, envy, anxiety.. Even in these moments, you looked at me and said: Come to me! You will not be condemned; instead, you will find how great my love is for you, son. I´m so charmed by this amazing love! Even when I was alone, you did not forsake me.

Father, day by day I have been feeling more fragile and overwhelmed by some uncontrollable matters, but you still care about me. That day in the hospital, in the midst of my affliction, you graciously gave me a portion of your love to be shared with someone who needed it.

Help me Lord! I need you to guide me through this.

Prayer:

Dad, I do not deserve this kindness of yours, but, I NEED IT! Apart from you Jesus I am nothing but heavy burden to myself and only you sees me better than anyone else, only you saw my affliction and then came to rescue me from my troubles. I´m grateful, If these overwhelming thoughts don´t go away I know that you will stay by my side. If I´m losing faith, I know that you are still faithful. But, I know that you will never leave me! Whether you will deliver from this suffering or not I trust that you will make something better out of it, in Jesus´ name, Amen!