Fighting my mind every day, dealing with feelings of perfectionism and condemnation. It´s very exhausting and stressful, I do not know how but God have been dealing very patiently with me. Probably I should have written this post and attached it to the page Journaling

I have decided to be vulnerable and share this post. I hope more people will see it. My prayer is to receive help and help others. So, let’s dive in! I want to share that the topic “Feelings and Voice of Condemnation” is something I’m currently struggling with a lot.

I´ve always faced this feeling but most of the time I just tried to ignore, as if it were non-sense and useless. But, very recently it decided to pop into my mind and snatch my joy and sense of belonging in the Lord. I will expose it for a better comprehension:

Exploring this situation:

• Fear of Condemnation.
• Feeling like God´s is cruel and hard to please.
• Second-guessing past decisions.
• Stuck in shame over my past.
• Trying earn God´s love rather than just accept it.
• Striving for Peace.

I’ve signed in to a workshop about 8 common distortions of God’s image. And that’s a very complex theme to approach because, in most cases, it stems from childhood traumas, unfortunate situations, insecurities and etc. In order to deconstruct the wrong ideas of God, it is crucial to understand that God is with you in this process; it will not make things easy, but certainly easier.

Here is something that has helped me to stay on top of an utter collapse and leads me when I feel desperate, faithless, and hopeless. Simply asking myself this question:

–Do you really think Ryan, that God does not have a plan for your life?

The answer is:

Jeremiah 29:11 NIVUK

For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Romans 8:28 KJV

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV

 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Isaiah 26:3 New KJV

³ You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

These passages are gentle reminders of God´s care for our lives, it´s time to throw up all the shame and trust that we belong to God´s Kingdom, let´s approach to Him and be honest! He already knows your problems, but, do you trust in him to tell your problems?

1 Peter 5:7NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I want to encourage you that if you need some help, please, do not hesitate and reaching out a friend in whom you trust, a family member or a pastor. Just don´t forget it, you will always have a friend and He´s Jesus who died for you on the cross and paid the penalty of our sins. Before I conclude this post and want to leave some quotations from Charles Spurgeon and Faith Chang, I hope it´ll be a blessing to you:

Some of you may be in great distress of mind, a distress out of which no fellow-creature can deliver you. You are poor nervous people at whom others often laugh. I can assure you that God will not laugh at you; he knows all about that sad complaint of yours, so I urge you to go to him, for the experience of many of us has taught us that, “the Lord is gracious and full of compassion.”

Eswine, Zack. Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who suffer from depression (p. 31). Christian Focus Publications. Kindle Edition.

Our feelings matter to God. Whether they are feelings of estrangement, anxiety, or sadness in our relationship with him, he cares. But we also have assurance that even when we sense our closeness with God waning, his heart for us is unfaltering and unchanging—that we are at peace with him, even when we don’t feel that peace subjectively in our own hearts.

Chang, Faith. Peace over Perfection: Enjoying a Good God When You Feel You’re Never Good Enough (p. 95). The Good Book Company. Kindle Edition.